A Compass for Your Marriage
Just like a compass provides direction, a marriage mission statement helps clarify why your relationship exists, what you’re building, and who you’re becoming — individually, as a couple, and as a family rooted in God’s Kingdom. It’s also a tool for recalibrating as you move through the many seasons of life.
Marriage is dynamic. It goes through phases of growth, challenge, joy, and transition. Without a clear vision and aligned priorities, it’s easy to drift with time. Creating a mission statement gives couples the opportunity to define shared values, establish spiritual priorities, and set goals that anchor the relationship in eternal purpose. Purpose and vision in marriage aren’t just about getting through life — they’re about becoming the people God designed you to be, together.
To guide this process, we also draw from the research of John and Julie Gottman, co-founders of The Gottman Institute and authors of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Their work, especially Principle Seven: Create Shared Meaning, emphasizes the importance of shared rituals, values, goals, and roles. These form the spiritual and emotional foundation of a strong marriage.
Getting Started
Start the process by setting aside time to pray and invite the Spirit into the conversation. Ask each other: Why are we doing this? What do we want our marriage to reflect and accomplish? Then, each of you should identify your top five personal values. After sharing them, highlight where they overlap or complement each other. Together, narrow these down to three to five shared values, which will form the heart of your mission statement. Common examples include faith in Jesus Christ, honesty and integrity, service, communication, joy, or eternal perspective.
Writing the Statement
Using your values as a foundation, write your mission statement beginning with a phrase such as “We exist to…” Add personal commitments, spiritual goals, and even a favorite scripture that reflects your vision if you so wish. From there, define short-term goals (within the next one to three years) such as strengthening spiritual habits, improving communication, or creating family traditions. Long-term goals (the next ten to twenty years) might include raising faithful children, preparing for temple service or missions, and building a peaceful, Christ-centered home. Ask yourselves: Where are we leading our family eternally?
It’s also important to clarify how your individual identities enrich your shared mission. Marriage shouldn’t erase who you are; it should amplify your roles and talents. Discuss how your personal callings align and how you can support each other in your individual and collective growth. Plan for flexibility by anchoring your marriage in eternal truths rather than specific circumstances. Life will change — careers shift, health challenges arise, goals evolve. Checking in regularly and recalibrating as needed will keep you aligned.
Living It Out
Finally, create shared rituals of meaning — daily, weekly, and/or monthly habits that support your mission. Some examples include prayer, date nights, family council, or temple attendance. These small but consistent efforts make your marriage feel sacred and intentional.
Writing a marriage mission statement isn’t just a one-time activity, but a continuous act of faith, unity, and vision. It’s about building a legacy that reflects Christ’s love and prepares your family for eternal life together.
References
- John and Julie Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (The Gottman Institute)