You’ve said “yes!” The ring is on your finger, the venue is booked, and you’re dreaming of a perfect wedding day. But amidst the wedding planning frenzy, how much time are you investing in preparing for the marriage?
Many couples focus 99% of their energy on the wedding and 1% on the marriage. That is where the SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) Assessment by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott comes in. It is not just another compatibility quiz; it is a profound, research-driven tool designed to launch you toward lifelong love.
Here is why thousands of couples are using SYMBIS to build a stronger future—and how it can, sometimes, help you realize that a breakup is the best outcome.
What is the SYMBIS Assessment?
Created by renowned relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott, SYMBIS is an online assessment that takes only about 30 minutes to complete. It covers over two dozen dimensions of your relationship—from personality dynamics to financial habits—and generates a customized 15-page report that highlights your strengths and areas for growth.
It is designed to give you a roadmap to a successful marriage by identifying potential pitfalls before they become major problems.
4 Transformative Benefits of SYMBIS
1. You Get an Objective “Roadmap” (No Rose-Colored Glasses)
When you’re deeply in love, it’s easy to ignore red flags. You might see them but assume love will overcome them. SYMBIS brings these hidden issues to light in a non-confrontational way. It removes the blinders of infatuation, allowing you to see your relational dynamics clearly, making it easier to discuss potential issues before they become habits.
2. You Discover Your Unique “Fight Types”
Conflict is inevitable in any marriage. SYMBIS helps you identify your specific fight types—how you behave when stressed or angry. By understanding your and your partner’s conflict styles, you can learn to manage disagreements in a healthy, constructive way rather than falling into destructive patterns.
3. You Learn to Combine Personalities for Strength
Instead of just asking if you are compatible, SYMBIS explores how your unique personalities mesh. It shows you how to leverage your differences as strengths rather than viewing them as annoyances. The assessment highlights areas where you complement each other and where you need to be proactive.
4. It Tackles the “Tough Topics” Easily
Money, sex, and in-laws are often taboo until after the wedding. SYMBIS makes these conversations easy by providing a structured framework. It covers financial management, sexual expectations, and relationship dynamics with in-laws, ensuring you are aligned on the most critical areas of marriage.
How SYMBIS Can “End” an Engagement (And Why That’s a Good Thing)
It might sound intimidating, but one of the greatest benefits of the SYMBIS assessment is its potential to show a couple that they are not a good match for marriage.
While the primary goal is to help marriages succeed, the assessment is a “godsend” for couples who might otherwise rush into a marriage that is destined for conflict.
1. Revealing Core Incompatibilities
SYMBIS can highlight deep, underlying incompatibilities that romantic love has masked, such as fundamentally different goals, vastly different attitudes toward money, or clashing personalities that make conflict resolution nearly impossible.
2. Identifying Unrealistic Expectations
If one partner expects a completely traditional role while the other holds modern views, SYMBIS brings these opposing views to the surface. It helps couples see if their expectations for marriage are unrealistic or mismatched.
3. Flagging Dangerous Patterns
If the assessment reveals high-risk areas—such as lack of maturity, severe personality clashes, or intense, unresolved baggage—a certified facilitator can act as a mirror, helping the couple see the potential issues.
4. Ending an Engagement is Better than Divorce
While breaking off an engagement is painful, it is far less emotionally and financially taxing than a divorce. By identifying that a marriage is not built on a solid foundation before the wedding, the SYMBIS assessment can save couples from years of heartache, ultimately fulfilling its promise to save marriages before they begin.
Final Thoughts: Invest in Your Marriage
As the Parrotts say, “your marriage can only be as healthy as the least healthy person in it.” Taking the SYMBIS assessment is a small investment of time (about $35 for the assessment) that can yield a lifetime of returns.
Whether it confirms you are ready for the next step or reveals that you need to go your separate ways, the SYMBIS Assessment ensures you are entering your future with your eyes wide open.