Spirituality and Prayer in Marriage
My husband and I have been married for 15 years. In that time, we have experienced many life events that neither of us could have predicted while we were dating and engaged. In the first few years of marriage, we felt good about continuing to live in the same area where we grew up. After the birth of our daughter, my husband received a job offer that would benefit our family. We sold our house and moved to a new area, and while I initially struggled with adjusting to being a mom while being away from family, I was able to create connection and thrive. A few years later I gave birth to my son. He started showing signs of having speech and language difficulty when he was around two and a half years old. Arranging doctor appointments and services for him brought up a lot of emotions and worry for his future. Although it was a stressful time for my husband and me, we were able to work together to provide the best resources for him.
Leaning on Faith Through Hard Seasons
I credit much of our resilience through adversity, and our efforts to sustain our marriage through difficult times, to our spirituality. Sabey et al. (2014) studied older couples and found that those who viewed their marriage as sacred reported higher marital satisfaction. When we moved to a new area and had a new baby, we experienced a lot of overwhelm. We were able to lean into our spirituality and recognize that even through life’s difficulties, our bond was sacred, and we focused on caring for each other. We also found community through attending church, and we focused on serving those around us, which allowed us to create new friendships.
We were able to find peace and comfort when we prayed for each other during our son’s evaluations and while finding the right services for him. Fincham and Beach (2014) found that praying for your spouse’s wellbeing increases marital commitment. Praying for strength for my husband and for his general wellbeing helped me feel like we had extra support during this time. Some couples may feel like they made the wrong decision in the person they married when things in life do not go how they pictured when they said “I do.” Praying when things seemed off reminded us that we vowed to help each other in the good times and the difficult times.
Spirituality and prayer help those in a marriage relationship see the bigger picture when life’s inevitable lows happen. To help start a conversation about spirituality in your relationship, consider taking the SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) Assessment. The valuable insight you gain from the assessment can help you and your partner become aware of the impact of spirituality in your relationship.
Sources
Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. H. (2014). I say a little prayer for you: Praying for partner increases commitment in romantic relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(5), 587-593. https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-a0034999.pdf
Sabey, A. K., Rauer, A. J., & Jensen, J. F. (2014). Compassionate love as a mechanism linking sacred qualities of marriage to older couples’ marital satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(5), 594-603. https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-a0036991.pdf