Life after the wedding bells and honeymoon spell ends has a funny way of filling up and getting busy quickly. You both step back into work, school, managing a home, and paying bills. Before you know it, you’ve spent time near each other but not “with” each other.
A quick kiss before one of you leaves for work. A pass in the kitchen. A quick chat about schedules. You may feel like roommates who work together to fund life and run your home. Nothing is necessarily wrong, but something is missing.
The Data on Date Nights
Research has found that “52% of husbands and wives reported they ‘never’ go out on date nights with their spouses or only went on date nights ‘a few times a year’” (Wilcox & Dew, 2023). It’s shocking to hear that couples do not participate in date nights, when doing fun activities together is how they fell in love.
What happens when we don’t make room for date nights or small moments? We fall apart and become roommates. So often, couples forget an important aspect of their married life, which is to date each other.
Coming together for date nights is vital because it nurtures your connection, strengthens your friendship, deepens intimacy, lowers stress, and gives you more opportunities to enjoy each other!
Dates Don’t Have to Be Big
Organizing date nights might sound exhausting and expensive, but here’s the good news: it does not have to be big and fancy. Sometimes dates look simple, like:
- Getting ice cream after dinner
- Taking a walk and talking
- Board games
- Dancing in the kitchen
Date nights are less about what you are actually doing and more about sending the message, “I choose you. I still want time with you.”
Tips for Making Date Nights Happen
When life feels busy, here are a few ways to keep dating realistic and doable:
- Keep expectations low — Not every date has to be magical. The idea is connection, so avoid the idea of perfection.
- Mix new and old dates — Dates are an awesome opportunity to try new things together and build memorable moments, but remember it’s also okay to repeat dates you’ve done before.
- Plan ahead — Scheduling helps make date nights happen. Add it to the calendar and make it a priority.
- Make room for play — Be a little silly, let go of your expectations, and have fun.
Whether you are preparing for marriage or are already married, it can be helpful to ask: How will we keep having fun together? Years from now, you won’t only want a partner with whom you can communicate — you’ll want someone you can date and laugh with.
So don’t stop playing, and don’t stop dating. Your future marriage will thank you for it.
References
Wilcox, B., & Dew, J. (2023). 2023 Date night opportunity. 2023 Date Night Opportunity | National Marriage Project. https://nationalmarriageproject.org/2023-date-night-opportunity