What Is Cohabitation?
This is when a couple decides to live together and have sexual relationships before they get married. Cohabitation rates in the United States have increase over the past few decades, changing social norms and attitudes toward marriage. This shift is particularly among younger adults, who often prioritize living together as a step before or instead of marriage.
Testing the Relationship — Or Undermining It?
Many couples see this as a test before marriage, as they share financial responsibilities. Statistics indicate that cohabiting couples are more likely to break up than married couples, as the absence of formal commitment makes it easier to end the relationship. This lack of permanence can create a sense of uncertainty, where partners may not feel fully invested in resolving conflicts or addressing challenges.
What the Research Shows About Closeness
Married adults are more likely than cohabiters to say they feel closer to their spouse or partner than to any other adult. About eight-in-ten married adults (78%) say they feel closer to their spouse than to any other adult in their life; a narrower majority of cohabiters (55%) say the same about their partner.
Different Expectations, Different Risks
Cohabitation can create ambiguity about the future of the relationship, especially if partners have differing expectations. One partner may see cohabitation as a step toward marriage, while the other might view it as an alternative to traditional commitment. This misalignment can lead to confusion, frustration, or unmet needs as the relationship progresses.
Choosing Marriage as a Leap of Faith
It is important to remember that marriage is a leap of faith, and you must go into the relationship with that mindset. Couples who live together before marriage have heightened their chances of divorce as they destroy the key foundations of their marriage. Marriage requires an intentional choice, uncertainty, and independence, all of which are hindered when couples live together before marriage. Marriage is a commitment that cannot be sustained by convenience, ease, and comfort; hard work and sacrifice are required.