You’ve found the one. The ring is on, the venue is booked, and you’re riding a high of pure bliss. But in the back of your mind, a tiny, nagging voice asks: are we truly ready for this?
It’s the most important question you will ever ask, yet many couples head into marriage on autopilot, assuming that love is all they need.
Enter SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts), the premarital assessment developed by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. It is not a test to pass or fail, but a scientific, 15-page deep dive into your relationship’s DNA. It’s designed to help you know if you are ready to marry, and—just as importantly—help you recognize when you might not be.
Here is how the SYMBIS assessment acts as a roadmap for your future.
How SYMBIS Tells You That You’re Ready to Marry
When the results come back, a “good to go” assessment isn’t about perfection; it’s about compatibility, readiness, and maturity. SYMBIS highlights key indicators that you are prepared for a healthy, lasting marriage.
A High “Marriage Momentum” Score
SYMBIS measures your momentum—a blend of your mindset, maturity, and well-being. If your results show high confidence, strong individual self-worth, and a shared vision, you are starting with a solid foundation.
Complementary Personalities
The assessment digs deep into how your personalities mesh. You might be a planner and your partner a spontaneous dreamer. SYMBIS helps you see that these differences are not faults, but strengths that, when managed well, make your relationship resilient.
Aligned Core Values
Do you agree on the big things—finances, children, spiritual beliefs, and lifestyle? A positive result often shows that while you may disagree on the small stuff, your core values are aligned, which is crucial for long-term stability.
Proven Conflict Resolution
A “ready” couple doesn’t mean a couple that doesn’t fight. SYMBIS highlights whether you fight constructively. It indicates that you can handle disagreements with empathy, manage emotions, and prevent resentment from building up.
How SYMBIS Tells You That You’re NOT a Good Match
It’s scary to think about, but the most valuable part of a premarital assessment is discovering red flags before you say “I do.” SYMBIS is designed to identify “hot spots” that, if ignored, could lead to a rocky marriage or divorce.
High “Caution Flags”
SYMBIS specifically highlights “Caution Flags”—areas that, based on research, predict future trouble. This could be anything from deep-seated trust issues to extreme incompatibility in handling money or in-laws. If these flags are high, it’s a sign to pause and address them before proceeding.
Persistent Misalignment
If the report shows a “reluctant” or “restless” mindset in one or both partners, it indicates a lack of commitment to longevity. Furthermore, if your “Marriage Momentum” is low, it suggests that you are not on the same page regarding the effort required to make the marriage work.
Inability to Manage “Hot Spots”
If the report identifies that your communication style leads to destructive conflict, and your hot spots (sex, money, or in-laws) are frequent sources of resentment, the assessment is telling you that you are not currently equipped to manage these areas together.
Unresolved Individual “Baggage”
A successful marriage requires two healthy individuals. SYMBIS often uncovers, through its well-being section, that one or both partners are still dealing with issues from the past—previous toxic relationships, trauma, or lack of independence from parents—that make them unready for a new, serious commitment.
The Verdict: Don’t Fear the Results
The goal of SYMBIS is to remove the blinders of romantic love.
If the results are great, you get the confidence of knowing you have a firm foundation.
If the results are concerning, you haven’t failed. You have simply been given a map of the rocky terrain ahead. It gives you the chance to either work through those issues with a counselor or, in some cases, realize that you are not meant to walk down the aisle together.
Ultimately, taking the SYMBIS assessment is an act of love—not just for your partner, but for your future self.