Over the past few weeks, we’ve been exploring the SYMBIS fifteen key areas of assessment. Created by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, this research-based tool helps couples prepare for a lifelong partnership by offering insights into key areas of their relationship. Whether you’re thinking about getting engaged, newly engaged, newly married, or years into your journey together, the SYMBIS framework opens doors to meaningful conversations that can prevent conflict, deepen understanding, and strengthen commitment.
This week, we’re focusing on three deeply personal areas of assessment: money, sexual expectations, and spirituality. Each of these topics has the power to either bring couples closer or quietly create distance, depending on how they are handled and understood.
Money
Money is rarely just about dollars and cents — it’s about values, emotions, and security. SYMBIS helps couples unpack financial attitudes, spending styles, saving habits, and levels of financial trust. These insights reveal how money behaviors often mirror deeper emotional needs such as independence, safety, generosity, or control. The assessment identifies common financial mindsets such as the spender, the saver, the avoider (who prefers not to think about finances), and the planner (who thrives on organization and structure). When couples clash over money, the real tension usually stems not from lack of funds but from unspoken fears and mismatched priorities. Guiding couples to explore what emotions arise when they think about money — stress, excitement, or control — can reveal the root of recurring conflicts. Understanding financial values transforms budgeting from a battleground into a shared vision for the future.
Sexual Expectations
Few topics in marriage evoke as much vulnerability as intimacy. SYMBIS assesses how couples view sexual expectations such as frequency, affection, emotional safety, and comfort discussing intimacy. Healthy intimacy goes far beyond physical connection (see our post on the Six Pillars of Intimacy) — it’s an expression of emotional trust and mutual care. Common challenges include differences in desire, discomfort talking about needs, or viewing intimacy as performance rather than connection. When couples learn to approach this topic with openness and empathy, intimacy becomes a reflection of emotional safety and spiritual unity. Intimacy thrives where honesty and respect are nurtured, and therapy can provide a safe space for couples to explore these often sensitive dimensions.
Spirituality
The third key area we will review today is spirituality, which invites couples to explore how faith and shared values influence their partnership. SYMBIS evaluates beliefs, spiritual practices, and how faith shapes decision-making. While partners may not always share identical beliefs, they can share a common direction and purpose. Research shows that couples who intentionally nurture their spiritual connection — through prayer, worship, service, or reflection — report higher satisfaction and resilience. Spirituality gives meaning to marriage, grounding it in something larger than daily stress or circumstance.
Money reveals values, intimacy reflects emotional connection, and spirituality roots the relationship in shared purpose. The SYMBIS assessment reminds us that healthy marriages aren’t built by avoiding hard topics, but by understanding them together. When couples engage in open dialogue about finances, intimacy, and faith, they cultivate unity that lasts. The more we learn about ourselves and our partners, the more deeply we can love, with our hearts, resources, and spirits aligned.
If you haven’t already, consider taking the SYMBIS assessment with your spouse or partner. It’s a valuable step toward lifelong growth and connection.
Stay tuned — next time we’ll be exploring roles and responsibilities, parenting expectations, and social support as we continue unpacking the SYMBIS journey!
References
- Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) Assessment