Today we are diving deeper into what the SYMBIS assessment evaluates. Remember, SYMBIS is short for Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts and was created by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. SYMBIS is a research-based tool designed to help couples prepare for a lifelong partnership through greater understanding of themselves and each other. Whether you’re engaged, newly married, or have been together for years, the assessment opens the door for deeper conversation and helps prevent future conflict by highlighting strengths and areas for growth. This week, we’re continuing our discussion by diving deeper into three key SYMBIS areas: Marriage Mindset, Well-Being, and Personality Type.
Marriage Mindset
Our marriage mindset forms the foundation for how we view and experience marriage. SYMBIS identifies several common mindsets: the most common being the romantic mindset, which believes “love conquers all”; the realistic mindset, which sees love as something that requires effort and growth; and the resolute mindset, which prioritizes commitment first and believes love deepens over time. Understanding our mindset helps us identify unrealistic expectations and develop a shared vision for our relationship.
When I took the SYMBIS assessment, I discovered that I aligned with the resolute mindset. I’m highly committed to my marriage and naturally look for creative ways to solve problems. My results, however, reminded me to adjust my expectations when certain challenges can’t be quickly resolved, which I completely agreed with, seeing that I am only half of my marriage team. Differences in mindset can affect how couples approach conflict and disappointment — while one partner might crave constant harmony, the other may view challenges as opportunities for growth. Recognizing those perspectives allows couples to better understand each other’s reactions and strengthen their partnership.
Well-Being
The second key area, Well-Being, focuses on how we bring our whole selves into marriage — emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally. This part of the SYMBIS assessment evaluates emotional health, stress levels, self-awareness, and family-of-origin influences. The key idea is that healthy individuals create healthy relationships. That doesn’t mean perfection is required; rather, it’s an invitation to work toward wholeness.
When my husband and I reviewed this section, it highlighted how much our personal well-being influences our ability to connect. The assessment encourages self-reflection by asking where our strengths lie, such as optimism or self-awareness, and where we might still carry stress or unresolved patterns. Our well-being isn’t just about being happy; it’s about being whole and able to love selflessly. Taking simple steps like journaling, therapy, spiritual practices, or even rest can help improve emotional and relational health.
Personality Type
Finally, Personality Type is one of the most eye-opening areas of SYMBIS. This section helps couples understand how their personalities influence communication, conflict resolution, and connection. It’s not about labeling or judging; it’s about appreciating differences. For example, an introvert may need solitude to recharge while an extrovert gains energy from connection. A thinker might approach conflict logically, while a feeler steps forward with empathy. The more we understand these natural tendencies, the more compassion and balance we bring into our relationship. SYMBIS reminds us that the goal isn’t perfect compatibility — it’s understanding and adaptability.
Ultimately, our marriage mindset shapes our expectations, our well-being determines our emotional capacity, and our personality type influences how we communicate and connect. I encourage you to take the SYMBIS assessment with your partner and talk through your results. As Les and Leslie Parrott say, marriage doesn’t begin when you say “I do” — it begins when you start learning who you are and how to love intentionally.
Stay tuned for our next installment, where we unpack Love Style, Communication, and Conflict Resolution.
References
- Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) Assessment